Things I Want To Teach My Kids {Part II} by Bloom Guest Steph

A few months ago we introduced you to Steph of Modern Parents Messy Kids and shared the first half of a list of things she wants to teach her kids. Today we're sharing the second half of that list. Check it out and tell us what you're trying to teach your kids...

7. All Feelings Are OK
Have you heard of emotional coaching? It’s basically a parenting style that focuses on teaching children how to recognize and express their feelings. When I was a young child, I was very shy and fearful. To this day I’m not really sure why (my family was very supportive, open, and loving) but I do know that I want to do everything I can to prevent my own kids from feeling that way.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to change anyone’s personality or create super outgoing kids. It’s only been in the last 10 years or so that I’ve really come out of my own shell so if my kids turn out to be introverts, that’s fine by me. I just want to make sure they’re not missing out on life experiences due to fear.
A few months ago we introduced you to Steph of Modern Parents Messy Kids and shared the first half of a list of things she wants to teach her kids. Today we're sharing the second half of that list. Check it out and tell us what you're trying to teach your kids...

We’ve been weaving emotional coaching into our everyday life for the past year or so now and are pretty amazed by the results. Our 2 year old regularly identifies himself as being happy, sad, mad, and scared. Having this awareness seems to help him work through new and scary situations as well as tantrums. You can find out more about emotional coaching here.

8. I’m Worthy of Their Trust
From stranger danger and bullying to drugs and sex - I can think of about a million reasons I want my kids to trust me enough to talk to me. For me, building that trust now is about always doing my best to be as truthful as possible. Of course there are a lot of topics that I don’t particularly want to talk at length about with my 1 and 2 year olds. But if they ask me about something I try to answer them simply and directly (and then move on if it’s something I really don’t want to talk about yet!).

I also try really hard not to lie to them about the little things. It’s often tempting to head off an impending tantrum with a seemingly innocent lie, “We can’t get ice cream because the store’s closed”. The problem is kids catch on quick. If you get in the habit of fibbing to make things a little easier not only will the kids know, they’ll have less trust in you and what you say.

9. Mistakes are OK
This one goes back to my childhood again. As a shy kid I was always mortified when I messed up. I actually have a vivid memory of hiding under my covers as a preschooler after breaking a glass bowl I was using as a drum. When my parents found me they laughed but for some reason I was convinced I’d be in big trouble.

To teach my own kids that mistakes are OK, I make sure to let them know whenever I make one. It seems like several times a week I’ll spill something or forget something in front of them. When I do I always say something like, “Uh oh, Mommy spilled. Oh well, everybody makes mistakes”. This shows them that mistakes are just a part of life and they don’t have to be scared or embarrassed about messing up.

10. If at First You Don’t Succeed...
This goes hand in had with “mistakes are OK”. Giving your child permission to make mistakes gives them the confidence to keep trying when they’re confronted with adversity. Not everything in life is going to be easy. It’s our job as parents to let kids know that success isn’t about being perfect, it’s about continuing to try. (Side Note: For some excellent reading on this topic see the chapter “The Inverse Power of Praise” from the book Nurture Shock).

11. Saying No is OK
Last year my son’s toddler group hosted an excellent speaker on family safety, specifically protecting children from predators. Along with the usual tips about stranger danger, she also emphasized the importance of allowing children to say no. This applies to everyday situations as well as immanent danger.

She talked about teaching kids that they don’t always have to be polite. They don’t have to give hugs and kisses to anyone they don’t want to (family included) and they can always say no if an adult makes them feel uncomfortable. Her message of teaching kids to trust their gut, even at a very early age, really resonated with me.

In addition to being able to say no for safety, I also want to teach my kids not to be pleasers in general. As adults, we all know people like this. They regularly bend over backwards and over-commit themselves because they hate to disappoint. In reality we can’t do everything for everyone or even be friends with everyone. Somehow (and I’m not quite sure how) I want to show my kids that life is shaped by the people and activities you fill it with. It’s your responsibility to make sure you fill it up with positive and reciprocal relationships.

12. To Be Kind
This, of course, is the flip side of saying no. In a society where high self-esteem is regarded above all else, basic kindness can sometimes get overlooked. This one is all about walking the walk. You can tell your kids to be nice all day long but they’ll truly get the message when they see how you interact with people throughout your day together. Be courteous and friendly towards friends, neighbors, family, waiters, sales clerks, baristas, and families at the park. Smile and say “hi”, open doors for people, and let cars in your lane. Your kids will see your example as well as the positive reactions you get in return.

6th Street Design Bedroom Makeover--the Reveal

A few months ago Bloomer Jessie won an E-Design giveaway sponsored by Kirsten Krason of 6th Street Design School.

We showed you before pictures.

We showed you Kirsten's design board.

Today we give you the results:

Check out the before and after comparisons...

Old bedding: woodsman meets pink polka dots
New bedding: pillow fabrics suggested by Kirsten plus quilt made by Jessie

Old corner wall: multiple swatches of paintNew corner wall: a nice light gray color with artwork suggested by Kirsten plus a cozy reading nook (chair from Ikea), pillow made by Jessie
Old thrift store pink buffet:

Newly painted mint green buffet:Old curtains:
New curtains: fabric suggested by Kirsten


Old (joke of a) headboard:
New headboard: an old door-turned-headboard by Jessie's husband
Pretty amazing improvement, don't you think?!

TOFW

Are you familiar with Time Out for Women? Maybe you've been to one of their awesome events?

Well here's something fun! TOFW has just suped up their website and blog. They have some really great new features--including connecting their readers to other blogs and women just like you and me.

Em and I are honored that Bloom is one of the featured blogs on their site right now. They have published one of my favorite posts. Check it out here!

xo
anne

Three-peat {Chicken Dinners}

Abbie's back sharing some yummy ideas for Summer suppers.

This is one of my very favorite summer eats. It's so yummy and easy. And this one recipe can turn into three super delicious meals for our little family of four. Bonus! I'm all about making leftovers look new.

The Chicken

Crockpot BBQ Chicken

6 chicken breasts

12 oz bottle of BBQ sauce

1/2 cup Italian salad dressing

2-3 Tbsp brown sugar (adjust for sweetness)

2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1/2 - 1 tsp of chili powder (optional kick)

DIRECTIONS

Put chicken in a crockpot. Mix remaining ingredients in a bowl and pour mixture over the chicken. My crockpot cooks this in 4-5 hours on low.

Dinner 1 - Serve chicken with wild rice and steamed veggies. Our favorite farmer's market picks for this meal are zucchini, yellow squash and red bell peppers.

Dinner 2 - Shred leftover chicken. Serve sandwich style on a hearty bun with corn on the cob, broccoli slaw (I buy a bag and put some Brianna's poppy seed dressing on it), and sweet potato fries or sweet potato chips if you're avoiding the oven (but sometimes sweet potatoes fries are worth the heat. I have a major crush on this RECIPE).

Dinner 3 - Take remaining shredded chicken and put on a bed of greens. Top with black beans, avocado, tomato, cucumber, cheddar, and dressing.

Hope you enjoy!

Things I want to teach my children everyday by Bloom Guest Steph (Day 2)

Hello Bloom readers, thank you so much for having me! I’m Steph, mom of 2 1/2 year old C and 11 month old S and founder of Modern Parents Messy Kids. I’m so excited to be here today writing about intentional parenting. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things that I want to teach my children and how and when to do so.

Before you’re a parent it seems like there will be lots of opportunities to sit your children down and bestow the words of wisdom they’ll need to be successful and happy in life. Once you actually are a parent, you realize that teaching your children isn’t done during a perfect Hallmark moment - it’s done with your words and actions day in and day out.

With that in mind, I sat down and created a list of the things I most want to teach my children every day (you can get a free printable of my list at MPMK here). I’m going to share with you my thinking behind each of these items and I would love it if you’d share with me what values you’re trying to instill in your children and how you go about doing so in your busy lives.

My intention was to do this all in one post but it started to get a little long-winded so I decided to break it up into two parts. Today is the first installment, numbers 1 - 6 of the the top 12 things I want to teach my children:

1. That They Matter
Isn’t this a parent’s #1 job? To give children a safe and secure place in the world where they’re free to discover their strengths and to find what gives them the most joy in life. And consequently to find out how they can use these things to make meaningful contributions to the world? I know all that sounds a bit grandiose so let me put it in more simple terms.

Every day I try to truly see my children - to get down on their level, look them straight in the eye and really listen to what they’re trying to tell me. Of course I don’t always succeed, my New Year’s resolution was to spend just one hour a day giving my full and complete attention to each of them. Every time I remember to pause for a minute and do so, I validate my kids and send them the message that they are important and what they think and do matters.

2. The Only Real Rewards in Life are Intrinsic
As I said, my son is two right now and, as many of you know, trying to get a two year old to do what you want can be a very frustrating task. There are lots of methods (all of which I have tried at one time or another): bribing, threatening, pleading. In the end none of them work for long. What it comes down to is that children (and adults) need to be intrinsically motivated.

Sooner or later my kids will figure out that external rewards won’t make them happy. True contentment comes from setting goals and accomplishing them, not from making lots of money and buying lots of things. So instead of bribing them with treats or threatening to take away toys, I try to explain the consequences of their choices. Again, this isn’t always easy but I do the best I can. One resource I’ve found to help me in my efforts is this fabulous eBook.

3. To Be Grateful
In today’s reality-TV obsessed culture, kids are exposed more and more to a world of entitlement and materialism. I want to make sure my children know how lucky they really are - to make sure they’re aware of the many people in the world who have much, much less then they do. I want them to grow up to be global citizens and contributing members of society. One way of doing this is by getting them involved in volunteering early in life. I’ll admit, with a baby and a toddler, this is an area I haven’t made much progress in yet. But this post has me inspired to try harder by pointing out the smaller things you can do with young children.

4. To Do Unto Others...
The golden rule, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” is a powerful and easily understood message for children. It teaches both empathy and consideration. And going back to the theme of “intrinsic rewards”, I want to teach my kids that doing for others ultimately gives you as much (or more) than it gives others.

5. Happiness is a Choice
The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that being happy isn’t about being lucky and having everything go your way - it’s a choice that we make each and every day. It’s a lesson that I’m still learning myself so I’m not entirely sure how to teach it to my children. But I think one way is to dispel of the notion of “fairness”.

My kids are still young so I’ll admit that I’ve barely even entered the realm of “she got more than me - that’s not fair”. But I’ve heard of many families who go by a motto of “you get what you get and you’re happy to have it”. I know that won’t always be easy, I know there will be jealousy and tantrums. But this also goes back to the notions of being grateful and intrinsic rewards. I truly believe that my children will ultimately become happier adults if I can find ways to teach them this lesson now.

6. I Love Them NO MATTER WHAT
This is the no-brainer on the list, right? Every parent wants their children to know they love them. I tell my son I love him so much that he’s made a game of it. He often says to me, “Mommy, you say ‘I love you’ and I say ‘I love you' back". Of course it takes more than words, it takes hugs and kisses and lots of attention.

One thing I’m working on right now is how to convey the “NO MATTER WHAT” part of the message. I try to remember to tell him I love him when things aren’t going great. After a tantrum I might say that he made me sad by screaming but that I always love him. It’s a message I’m still working on how best to convey but I feel if I lay the groundwork now it’ll pay off later when they make the bigger mistakes that are part of growing up.

Wow, that’s a lot more writing than I usually do at MPMK. I hope you were able to stick with me for all of it. And please realize that this is a post about what I strive to do as a parent, on my best days. There are plenty of times that I fail miserably but trying to do better is a lesson in itself that I model for my kids. As I said, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my list and your own and thank you again so much to Bloom for having me!

Things I want to Teach My Children Everyday by Bloom Guest Steph (Day 1)

Good morning! We hope you had a delightful Fathers' Day! We're excited to announce that this week we will be graced with the presence of Steph of Modern Parents Messy Kids. So fun! Steph will be here tomorrow sharing things she wants to teach her children every day. Today, she's offering a darling, colorful, free printable of that list over at her blog. Get your printable, then join us back here tomorrow to hear all about it!

***Also, scroll down to see the winner of the RugsUSA giveaway!

A Mum & A Soldier

Louise & Meg

Loved this sweet, honest bit about mothering from Louise. Also love that we have readers across the ocean and that we get to learn from their lives. Pretty cool!

I'm a 30 year old single Mum to a lively, cheeky 11 year old. I had Meghan at 19 and have brought her up on my own from day one. I'm ashamed to say that I got a pregnant from a one-night stand but also thrilled it happened because Megs is the reason I get out of bed in the morning! And the reason I turn the oven on. I hate cooking and would live on sandwiches and cereal if it wasn't for her :) I'm also a serving soldier in the British Army and I guess this is what makes us stand out as a family. When I first had Meghan, single parent families in the Army were practically non-existent and, though there are a few more of us now, we are still few and far between. Juggling life as both a mother and soldier has been hard, there's no getting round that, but despite being so exhausted sometimes I can barely remember my own name, being a Mum is, without a doubt, 100% the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't love her more if she came with a lifetime's supply of chocolate!

Sewing Through Grief by Bloom Guest Carlee

Whew boy! There's been some funky stuff going on with Blogger, no? We're glad to be back up and running...hope it lasts! And we hope you enjoy this submission from Carlee. I love the concept of processing grief through creativity. And how creating something for her unborn child helped Carlee come to terms with an uncertain future. Thanks for being here, Carlee...

On my blog, The Polka-Dot Umbrella, I share sewing projects, some recipes, and the occasional thrift store find or tip. I really love to sew, and sharing my projects with an audience bigger than my friends and family has been so rewarding. There is something so satisfying with taking a piece of two dimensional fabric, and creating something with structure and form that is beautiful and useful. I love seeing my friends, and especially my children, using or wearing something that I have made for them.


While I love having fulfilling hobbies, being a mother is what I spend most of my time doing, and really is the most important part of my life. When the ladies at Bloom invited me to contribute to their month long celebration of motherhood and womanhood, I was thrilled to be asked, and I knew exactly what I wanted to share.

Two years ago, just after Mother's Day, my little family faced some tough news. I was pregnant with our second child (another boy, yeah!), and after several abnormal ultrasounds and one echocardiogram (which is basically a fancy ultrasound for the heart) we learned that our expected son had a rare heart condition called Ebstein's Anomoly, and that it was very serious. Kids with Ebstein's have problems with the tricuspid valve on the right side of their heart, the part that is responsible for pumping blood to their lungs. Since babies in the womb don't send blood to their heart to be oxygenated, it was difficult to predict what would happen after our son was born and the blood started flowing to his heart. The other problem is that this condition leads to an enlarged heart, and can compromise lung development because of lack of space.

After we left our first appointment, we were pretty crushed. We were so excited to welcome a second child into our little family, and I never expected that we would be faced with any health problems. So many babies are perfect, and I completely expected that mine would be as well. While the last two years with my first son hadn't exactly been easy, I had never been in a difficult situation like this before. I felt too young to deal with something so serious, and like many of us in tough times, I didn't know if I would be able to hold it all together. Since there was nothing we could do other than monitor him closely for the remainder of my pregnancy, our coping strategy was to avoid thinking about it. Fortunately, we had lots to keep us busy! We had an almost two year old to chase after, and additionally, we were preparing for a cross country move for my husband to start a PhD program just weeks before my due date.

Once we settled into our new apartment in New England, the reality of the situation started to weigh down on me. While my baby was inside my womb, he was safe and 'healthy', but there was so much uncertainty about what would happen after his birth. We were told to expect anything from immediate death after delivery, to a best case scenario where he could breathe on his own, and would only have a limited stay in the NICU of about one month. The closer I got to his due date, and later to his scheduled induction, the more anxious, fearful, sick, and full of grief I became. Preparing for the birth of any baby is stressful, but when I was pregnant with my first son, all my feelings of anxiety were overshadowed by my excitement to meet my tiny perfect child. This time I was dreading the birth, because I worried that his birth also meant his death. I wondered how I could go on without this new baby, and how I could continue being the mother my older son needed.

Just days before my son was born a couple of things happened that helped me to gain peace of mind. First, my husband, assisted by the bishop at our church, gave me a blessing. The second thing that really helped me prepare for his birth was to sew. Maybe this sounds trite, but this was a really big step for me. It is true that I really love to sew, and I worked on quite a few projects during my pregnancy. I made a tiny toddler backpack, a purse for a friend, several pairs of leather baby shoes, dresses for my friend's daughter, and a handful of other projects. I had done lots of sewing, but what I hadn't done was to sew something for my baby, for this baby with an uncertain future. We hadn't set up our crib, washed baby clothes, or unpacked the car seat. Essentially, what I had done was prepared myself for his death, but I hadn't started preparing for his life.

One night, I took a deep breath, and started to sew. I made something simple. It was something that he could wear at the hospital if he stayed there for awhile, but more importantly, I hoped it would be something he could wear when he came home to live with our family. The little white cotton kimono top and linen pants were nothing fancy, but they were for my baby. Maybe it sounds silly, but by the simple act of sewing for my child, I started to expect him to wear what I had made. I started to visualize what he might look like. Maybe he'd look just like his daddy, or be an exact copy of his older brother, or maybe he'd be his very own man. I started thinking about how nice it is to hold a newborn baby, and breath deeply that smell that only the very newest babies still have. And I started to think that I might get to the chance to watch my child grow, develop, and live.

We have a happy story to tell here, and things went smoothly with his delivery. Both his lungs and heart stopped after birth, but thanks to the highly skilled professionals, he was resuscitated and kept alive with the assistance of a ventilator, lots of medicine, teams of highly trained professionals, a handful of tubes, wires, and probes, a feeding tube, prayer, and what seemed to be the constant sound of beeping.

Just a few hours after his birth.

Meeting his older brother for the first time.

After a rocky 5 weeks in the NICU, our baby was in stable enough condition to come home.

Bringing our son home from the hospital was something I worried we'd never get the chance to do. Life at home with a newborn that requires lots of extra attention (20+ doses of medication a day, bottles with breast milk plus formula for extra calories, and tons of appointments) was tricky, but honestly I was so grateful to have him that it felt so manageable.

His first Sunday home, I carefully dressed him in the clothes I had made him. When I was sewing their seams, I didn't know if my child would ever be able to wear them. But I had faith that he would, and seeing him dressed made me feel like this is what being a mother is all about. I think sometimes as women and especially mothers, we want to fix things for those we love. We wipe running noses, tie loose shoe laces, kiss skinned knees, and try to do everything we can to ensure that our children have only the best experiences. But we can't control everything. We face unexpected illnesses, bullying at school, and as my mother assures me, children get older and start making their own decisions and there isn't always much we can do.



Being a mother means so many things, and this includes being strong for my family, even when everything feels overwhelming and impossible. Sometimes it's about stepping forward on paths that are still dark, and having only a few feet lit in front of me. It's also about learning to have faith that my children will see the good things of the world, from handmade baby clothes, to everything their futures have in store for them. And for me especially, it's about remembering that being mother to these two little boys, one perfectly healthy and one with a 'broken' heart, is a gift and a privilege.

Find more of Carlee (and her clever friends!) at The Polka-Dot Umbrella.

Growth By Bloom Guest Christina

my new-mom self with Miss A at 5 weeks

With each child, I feel like I've become more and more myself. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I think each child has also made me more and more crazy, but overall I feel much more relaxed and able to enjoy motherhood as my number of children has increased.

I was high-strung as a first-time mom. I fully recognize it, now. There are so many things I'd go back and advise my new-mom self.

Like don't go back to work, even if it's only for 5 months, and even though you're only gone for 4 or 5 hours, and even though your friend is watching Miss A and she's in wonderful hands. You can't get back those new baby days. And if there's one of my babies I want to go back and hold the most, it's Miss A, because I treasured those newborn days the least. Not intentionally. I just didn't understand. I didn't understand how quickly time would pass. I didn't understand how special that time is. I was super-emotional. And high-strung. And not sleeping, but instead of in the "I'm not sleeping but it won't last forever" frame of mind, I was in the "I'm not sleeping and it's pushing me to the brink" frame of mind. And Miss A has always been a little on the fussy emotional side. I understand that about her now, and have learned over the years how to tread a little more lightly, and how to appreciate that when channeled the right direction, it may become one of her best qualities. But as a new mom, it meant a lot of days with an unhappy baby. Who also had a lot of ear infections.

That's another thing I'd tell my new-mom self. The intuition will come. But don't beat yourself up for the times when you just don't know. I remember going to Miss A's six month check-up and leaving with an ear infection diagnosis. I felt terrible. I had no idea. I figured all of this fussiness was just part of baby-hood and part of her temperament. Had I realized she'd been in pain, I hope I would have shown more patience and less weariness at her frequent cries.

I'd tell my new-mom self to relax because the milestones will come, and there is no need to rush them. I remember reading to figure out what the next big thing was that Miss A should be accomplishing, and trying to help her check it off. I studied the "Ages and Stages" Questionnaires from the pediatrician as if they were gospel truth, and I fretted if I had to check "sometimes" for a skill instead of "always," and heaven help us all if I had to check "never." The muffin is almost 16 months. He's still not walking. At his latest appointment the doctor asked if I was concerned. I responded with, "not really," and I'm really not. He's talking up a storm right now with several new words a week, and how is he supposed to focus on walking when he's so busy talking? The doctor offered to write a referral for physical therapy, but it will be a few months before I take him up on it. In the mean time I'm enjoying my budding conversationalist and his cave-man walk on his hands and feet.

I'd encourage my new-mom self to embrace the days at home. I tried to schedule Miss A and myself for different outings- on Mondays the library, on Tuesdays Target, just to get us out of the house. But now my favorite days are the ones where I can enjoy being at home with my kids. Sure I enjoy trips to the park and the pool, but I have now realized that I prefer being a stay-at-home mom, not a non-working mom who is never home.

I'd make my new-mom self get out there and find some new-mom friends. That was probably where my biggest struggle adjusting to motherhood came from. I was the first of all my friends to marry, so it wasn't too odd that I was also the first to have children. But I didn't realize how much I needed other women, and more specifically other women who were moms. I didn't realize that I needed people to relate to as I thought about diaper bags and nursing bras. I didn't realize that I needed to compare notes on baby foods and quick dinner ideas. I had no idea how much better I'd feel when I could lunch with the ladies and let the kids play every now and then. Motherhood with one child can be a very isolating time, and I was definitely unprepared for that experience.

I'd reassure my new-mom self that things would calm down. I would find a balance and make dinner again for my family. I would figure out how to take a shower and keep a baby alive and out of trouble. I would discover what should always be kept in the diaper bag and how to get everyone out the door on-time. And I'd let my new-mom self know that it gets easier. I really settled into my role as a mother of two. Three has had its own set of trials, but I love it even more. And the door is wide open for more babies to come our way someday if it seems right. Nothing else has helped me grow like this. Nothing else has been as hard or as right or as joyful or as fulfilling. Never have I had a time of life I've loved more.

If you could go back, what would you like to tell your new-mom self?


You can find more of Christina at her charming blog, Bee a Little Better.

Two Kinds Of People by Bloom Guest Livia

Liv's installment is one of my favorites in our May celebration for its honesty and genuineness. Perhaps you relate...?

There are two kinds of people in this world...

When I had Aspen's photos taken at Sears around her 5-month birthday, I visited for a few minutes with the mother of a newborn.

She was all, "oh I love this snuggly little newborn stage. Everything is so sweet and I enjoy it so much."

Then I was all, "oh I hated the newborn stage. It made me feel like a crazy person."

Then she was all, *blink* ... *blink*

Yup. Mighty fine conversation we had there about babies.

The memories of Aspen's first few weeks are getting less painful, but I still thank the heavens above she didn't get permanently stuck in that stage of life. You know, like in Groundhog Day or something.

I'll never, ever forget how horrible it was when she wouldn't eat. She wouldn't eat with me, and she wouldn't eat from a bottle (probably because the formula we received from the hospital was recalled DUE TO BUGS). I'll never, ever forget how horrible it was when she wouldn't sleep. She would lay swaddled in her bouncy chair and Kev or I would fall asleep rocking that stupid thing with one hand. I'll never, ever forget how horrible it was when she wouldn't stop screaming. Thankfully, it was only on an occasional bad day, but it was enough to make me want to peel my ears off my head and swallow them whole.

What I'm trying to say is that for me, having a newborn was the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. So if your newborn is driving you crazy, then I'm the gal to call. I won't judge. I won't think you're a bad parent. I won't tell you not to worry.

I will listen. And I will show you Aspen, who is living proof that newborns grow up. And so will you.

You can find more of Liv at her blog. Or in her shop.

Rethinking Motherhood by Bloom Guest Heather

Heather & her cute family

You will love this. Many, many thanks to Heather for being willing to share it with us. May is off to a lovely start...

My name is Heather. I am an almost 30 year old mother of 3. Two here, and one in heaven. That feels weird to say. I love, love Bloom. I don't know if what I have to say about motherhood is very eloquent, or important, but I do know that I feel it. Deep in my bones. To the center of my soul, I feel it. Maybe I have a different perspective on it now.

For something I thought would come so easily and naturally to me, having children didn't. I got married at 22 and we decided we'd wait a year or two before having babies. I always wanted to be a Mom. I know that is why I am here. To fulfill my calling of motherhood. When we did start trying to bring a family here, it didn't happen at all like I thought. We tried for 2 1/2 years before we decided to give IVF a shot after much prayer, temple visits, anger, and tears. Neither of us had any medical explanation as to why we weren't getting pregnant. Looking back I feel like maybe we were supposed to struggle for this. Maybe that helped ME to be a better mother, to really appreciate it. I looked at getting pregnant and raising children kind of flippantly back then.

We found out we were finally pregnant and In Vitro had worked around Valentines day of 2007. We couldn't have been more grateful, excited and joyous at the arrival of our little boy that October. Life was wonderful. I was now a stay at home mom (I actually like to call that work at home mom) and things couldn't have been better. When our son was a year old I found out I was pregnant again. It floored us, we struggled so much and then BAM just like that - pregnant. We hadn't been trying. We were ecstatic, and I was very grateful. I felt strongly this baby was meant to come at that time. Two boys 21 months apart. How scared we were, but how excited we got when boy #2 finally made his arrival. In January of this year I found out I was pregnant again. Which shocked the socks off of us because we had been preventing. We thought we'd give it one more year. Our youngest was barely 18 months old. I remember when I went to take the test, which I was sure was negative, my husband told me he would be happy if it was positive. I cried. I was a little scared, and didn't feel ready. At 18 weeks we lost our little girl.

That was 2 1/2 weeks ago. It has rocked me to my core. Made me re-think what motherhood really means to me.

In the past, at times I had felt a little insignificant. As in, how is Heavenly Father aware of me and my daily struggles with tantrums, wiping noses, making dinner, potty training, trying to keep up with my home, playing with and teaching my children when there is so much worse going on out there? Does he really care about my little day to day dealings, frustrations, and joys like this? I am here to tell you yes. Yes. He does. I have never felt the power and significance of motherhood more than I have now. I felt it then, but I get it now. After the tragic experience of losing a baby we wanted like we need air to breathe, I feel and understand the reverence of Motherhood. What a sacred gift it is. To be entrusted with these spirits is awe-inspiring. It matters. It all matters. What we do MATTERS.

I have re-thought everything in how I am with my boys. I have quite the spirited little guys. But two of the sweetest I know also. Am I calm when they aren't behaving, do I try to understand what they might be feeling in that moment? Do I speak calmly and speak kindly to them when I feel like having a tantrum myself? Am I the example I really want to be to them? I'm surely trying. I'm trying day by day to be the best possible mother I can be for my children. Being there, showing up to support them, listening, serving, helping, loving them with everything I've got, so that they know, without a thread of doubt that they are the most important work I'll ever do.

I hope that every mother feels like the luckiest person in the world. The trenches of motherhood are deep, sometimes dark, and painful. But the joy we can experience far outweighs anything else. I am so blessed. Even in the thick of sorrow, I am blessed. There are angels all around us through this. Cheering us on, holding us, lifting us up. I pray for those who are waiting for a piece of heaven. I hope to hold one again soon.

The best moments we get in motherhood are like magic. I never knew that I would forever carry my heart outside of my body once I became a Mother. Or that love could run so deep and fill up every part of me. Every part. Or that I could be so fierce. I am a warrior mother for my babies. All I know is I'm giving it my all. And it's amazing.

Blueberry Stuffed French Toast

Here's a yummy recipe from Bloom reader Sarah Sievers. You may want to request it for your Mother's Day breakfast. We're excited to share all the lovely submissions we received for our May celebration...stay tuned!


Blueberry-Stuffed French Toast

16 slices of firm white bread (I like to use french bread from the bakery and slice it myself.)

1 pkg Neufchatel cheese, softened (fancy "cream cheese")
1 pint blueberries, divided

3 cups milk

3 eggs

1/3 cup maple syrup

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups sugar, divided

2 Tbs. cornstarch

1 Tbs. butter

Butter a 3 quart baking dish. Cut 10 slices of bread into 3/4" cubes. Spread cheese over 1 side of the remaining slices of bread and arrange them cheese side up in the baking dish. Sprinkle with 1 c. blueberries. Top with bread cubes. Combine next four ingredients (milk, eggs, syrup, vanilla) and 1/4 c. sugar. Pour over bread mixture. Cover; refrigerate over night.

Preheat oven to 350. Mix nutmeg and 1/4 c. sugar; sprinkle over bread mixture. Cover with foil and bake 30 min.

Remove foil and bake until top is golden brown and inserted knife comes out clean, 20-30 min.
Let stand 5 min. before serving.

Meanwhile, in a pot, mix cornstarch, 1c. water, and remaining sugar (1c.) Over medium heat, bring to a simmer. Cook until thickened, about 3 minutes.

Remove from heat. Stir in butter and the remaining blueberries. Serve with french toast.

*Makes 10 servings.

Make a Handmade Mothers' Day Gift with Bloom guest Amy

Can you believe Mothers' Day is Sunday?! We have some wonderful things for you this week--all from this darling Bloom community. Essays, recipes, tutorials, and more. We'll kick it off with a sweet handmade gift idea from Amy...

Hello there Bloom readers. My name is Amy and I blog over at Ameroonie Designs. I blog about motherhood, sewing, crafting and my adventures in trying to figure out this thing called life. I was so thrilled when Anne asked me if I would be interested in guest posting over here. I only hope my little project will do justice to their wonderful blog.

My mom is notorious for being really hard to buy gifts for. She always just goes and gets what she wants, when she wants it. But one thing my mother does love, is quotes. She has always been an example to me in her constant efforts to live a better life and be a better person. In her efforts to become the kind of woman she would like to be she often comes across thoughts and quotes that inspire and uplift her. Usually she takes these quotes and puts them on scraps of paper and tapes them to various surfaces in her house. Sometimes she asks me to print them off in fun fonts so she can hang on to them a bit longer. So, my solution to her desire to have these inspiring thoughts look nicer, while still being able to switch them out as her needs/ focus change is this:

An embellished clipboard where she can display her favorite thoughts. But, I didn't want to have to re-do the embellishment on the quote every time she wanted to replace it, so I came up with this:

An interchangeable embellishment that will move from quote to quote, while still keeping them cute and fun! So, does this sound like something you'd like to make? Here's how...

First, you will need to make an embellished clipboard. I got a small one from Staples. I have a tutorial on how to add the paper here on my blog. Once you have your clipboard ready you will want to find and print off your quote. Make sure you leave enough white space at the top for the clip and at the bottom for the embellishment.

You are also going to need some felt, a large paper clip and a hot glue gun (not pictured). Cut the felt into your flower shapes. ( I used my Sizzix and a couple of flower dies and a butterfly die- You could just cut them free hand, or trace them and cut them out.) Layer the flowers and stitch them together with a few simple embroidery stitches. (or glue them together, whatever you like.)

Next, you will cut a piece of felt the size of the white space on the bottom of your quote. This will help you keep the flowers within the space you have set aside.

Decide how you want the flowers to look within the space you have. One by one, lift them up and hot glue them in place on the background felt. Don't worry if some of the background color shows through. We're going to trim this off later. You will want to make sure though, before you glue, that the way you lay out the flowers will cover the paperclip entirely. Slide it underneath the flowers just to check that they are close enough together that you won't see the metal shining through. (Please do as I say, and not as I did. And don't look too closely at the final pictures. :) )

Once the glue has cooled a bit, turn over the flowers and trim off the excess background felt.

Take a second piece of felt and slide the paperclip onto it. Hot glue one side of the clip to the felt. Pay special attention to inside of the curved end making sure it is firmly anchored with glue. Put glue on the back of your flower piece and glue it on top of the paperclip. Trim off excess background felt.

Slide it on to the bottom of your quote, and you're done! Now, any time you find words to inspire you or your mother, you can swap them out, and still have them look amazing!

I really appreciate the opportunity to spend some time with you today. I love the feeling and the messages Anne and Emily share on their blog and I'm honored to be a part of their celebration of motherhood.
xoxo,
Amy

Kid Friendly Whole Food Recipes with Mel of Mel's Kitchen Cafe

Could we be any luckier than to start the week with a guest post from Mel of Mel's Kitchen Cafe? Pro'lly not. We've talked a bit about cooking with whole foods lately, dismissing fears about eggplant, showing you what to do with kale, and proving that it's a snap to make your own hummus. Today Mel's sharing two kid-friendly, meatless recipes that incorporate super healthy ingredients like sweet potatoes and jicama. Awesome.

I don’t know about you, but I’m constantly trying to find new ways to get more vegetables and whole foods into my family’s diet. Enter two of our favorite vegetarian meals. Let me detail a few of their merits:

a) quick
b) healthy
c) vegetable-laden
d) potential for major ego boost when your family gobbles them up and makes you feel like chef of the year for giving them a week’s worth of veggies in one meal.

Now, I know I’m going to get this question: “Do your kids really eat this stuff?” And I’ll answer it for you. Yes. But that’s a loaded “yes.” Let me tell you what I do to get them excited about fare such as this. Because these are the types of meals that are easy to put together, I let my kids make their own. I lay out all the ingredients and give them a tortilla and say, “Go to town!” which basically translates into, “You can make your own quesadilla/wrap but you have to choose at least four of the vegetables (for the wraps)/two spoonfuls of the sweet potato mixture (for the quesadillas).” They get so wrapped up in the excitement of making their own that they usually don’t fight about the rules of the game. And amazingly they gobble up food they make much better than if I shoved a loaded vegetable wrap in their face that I made with my own hands and ordered them to eat up.

First up, the Sweet Potato Quesadillas. I’m not lying, friends, when I tell you that these are the most delicious quesadillas I’ve ever devoured. I was the ultimate skeptic when I first thought about making them. I’m not a huge sweet potato fan, I have to be honest here. And the only reason I figured it might be worth a try is that there were no marshmallows called for in the recipe. I’m sorry but the sweet potato/marshmallow holiday mixtures make me a teensy weensy bit vomitous. (I hope you can all still love me.)

For these quesadillas, the tender, mashed sweet potatoes are mixed with a sautéed mixture of absolute flavor: garlic, onion, red pepper and green chiles. Add in a bit of fresh cilantro for a pop in taste and these are out of this world. The blue cheese is entirely optional, but for me (I happen to be a blue cheese lover), it made the quesadilla. A perfect balance of flavor, these quesadillas are dee-vine.


Sweet Potato Quesadillas

*Makes 6 quesadillas

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 medium red pepper, seeded and chopped, for about 1 cup
1 medium yellow onion, chopped, for about 1 cup
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 large poblano chile, roasted and chopped, or 1 small can chopped green chiles
2 large sweet potatoes (about 1-1/2 pounds), cooked, peeled, and mashed, for about 3-4 cups
¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup blue cheese, crumbled
1 teaspoon salt
12 (8-inch) flour or corn tortillas
1 ½ cups Monterey Jack cheese, grated (can also use Pepper Jack cheese for an extra kick)

In a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium heat until hot and rippling. Add the red pepper, onion, and garlic, and sauté, stirring often, until the onion is translucent and pepper is crisp tender, about 4-5 minutes. Stir in the poblano chile or can of green chiles, if using.

Mix the mashed sweet potatoes with the red pepper mixture. Add the cilantro, blue cheese, if using, and salt. Blend well.

Place 1/2 cup of the sweet potato mixture in the center of a tortilla, and spread the mixture out evenly to within 1/2 inch of the outer edge of the tortilla. Sprinkle with 3 tablespoons of the Monterey Jack cheese. Place another tortilla over the filling. Repeat with the remaining tortillas until all of the filling is used.

Cook the quesadillas on a preheated griddle or skillet until browned and crispy and the filling is hot and cheese is melted, about 2-3 minutes each side. Alternately, you can preheat the oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease a baking sheet with cooking spray. Bake the quesadillas for about 5-7 minutes, until the filling is hot and cheese is melted.

Now for the Santa Fe Veggie Wraps. Simple, both in prep and concept, these can be absolutely tailored with the veggies your family loves and prefers. The point is to load them with a variety of vegetables. If you have never used jicama, I encourage you to try. The crisp, slightly sweet flesh is similar in texture to a water chestnut and it’s unique texture gives these wraps a delicious crunch.

Santa Fe Vegetable Wrap (pictured at top of post)

*Makes 6 large vegetable wraps

6 (12-inch) whole wheat tortilla, any flavor
6 ounces light cream cheese, softened
¼ teaspoon chili powder
¼ teaspoon cumin
Pinch of salt and pepper
1 large head red or green leaf lettuce
Pepper jack or sharp cheddar cheese, sliced
2-3 tomatoes, thinly sliced
2 avocadoes, thinly sliced
½ red onion, thinly sliced
1 medium jicama, thinly sliced
1 cup fresh or frozen corn kernels, thawed (if frozen)
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese with the chili powder, cumin and salt and pepper. Spread each tortilla with an even amount of the cream cheese mixture. Top the cream cheese with lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, avocadoes, onions, and jicama. Spoon corn and black beans evenly over the top. Roll up tightly. Slice in half diagonally and serve.

Thanks, Mel. I'm just sitting here salivating, wishing it were dinner time. I'm going to make those wraps tonight ... yummm!

DIY Headboard Tutorial with Heidi Smith of Budget Wise Home

Aren't many topics more fun than budget-friendly home decor, right? We're thrilled to have Heidi Smith of Budget Wise Home at Bloom today, sharing a DIY Headboard tutorial. Heidi believes that it's possible to have a beautiful home on a very tight budget and she proves that time and time again on her lovely blog. So happy she agreed to share a headboard how-to with us today, be sure to check out her blog for more inspiration...

I'm so excited to be guest posting here today! I've been working on our master bedroom so I thought I would share a headboard tutorial with you guys. I've had my eye on a few beautiful nailhead trim headboards from West Elm and Crate & Barrel, but the price tags are a little ridiculous for my budget. So I decided to make one myself and it was so easy.

Anyone can do this if you have the right tools.

Here is what you'll need:

• Piece of 3/4 inch plywood (have the store cut it to size for you)


• 1/2 inch foam (Use a 50% off coupon! This stuff is not cheap.)


• Batting


• Nailhead Trim Kit (I got mine from perfectfit.com)


• Rubber Mallet


• Spray Adhesive


• Staple Gun & Staples


• D-Ring Picture hanging hooks

Start by laying out your foam on the plywood and cutting it down to fit your board.

Working in small sections, spray the adhesive on the board and press your foam into place.

I then transferred the whole thing from my garage into my bedroom.

Lay out your batting and fabric over the board and cut it to size. Make sure you have at least 3 inches extra length around each side.

Layer your materials starting with the fabric (right side facing down), batting, and then the board (foam side down).

You'll want to cut the corners out a bit to make it easier to work with. I started with cutting out just a small section and then cut more as I went along to minimize the bulk in the back. If it's too bulky, it won't sit flat on the wall.

Secure everything to the back of the board with your staple gun. Make sure to pull the fabric and batting very tight as you go. I started by securing all sides with a few staples in the center. This helps to make sure the fabric is stretched evenly and there are no bunched parts. Then continue around the board until everything is secure.

Here is a look at the corners. There is no exact way to do it. Just pull your fabric tight, cut out what excess bulk you can, and go to town.

Time for the nailhead trim. This part took me a little practice and I did have to pull out a whole row and start over. Once I got the hang of it, it went pretty quick. So don't get discouraged if you are having a hard time at first. The hard part was getting it straight. With a trim kit, you only have to nail in every 5th nail, so it's much easier to get it straight as opposed to nailing each one in separately. I found that it works best to nail in about 3 holes and then stand back to make sure it looks straight from a distance. This is much easier than realizing your row isn't straight after you've finished. It is not fun to pull these out.

Make sure you use a rubber mallet to hammer in the nails. A regular hammer will scratch the nails and take off the finish. My cute little boy helped me hold everything in place so I could take this picture--It's impossible to take a picture and hammer in a nail at the same time.

I didn't take a picture of the hooks, but it's really simple. Use D-ring picture hanging hooks and attach them to the back of the headboard. Secure screws into studs in the wall and hang the hooks on the nails.

Here is it is all finished:

My total cost for all supplies and fabric was $100.00 for a King size bed. The West Elm one would have cost me $509.00 for that size. I'm so happy with the results. Our bed finally has some presence and I love the finished look it gives the room.