We'll miss you

You might be surprised to learn that this will be our farewell post. (The picture above is us blowing you a goodbye kiss.)


Oh my darling friends,

It's difficult to know what to say when there are so many thoughts and feelings running through your mind and heart. Just as early 2009 brought about multiple conversations between Emily and me, discussing the possibility of a joint blog, 2011 ushered in a constant dialog about saying adios. We have felt it coming on, and now we just know it's time.

It is with a great, big, gasping sigh that we do it.

Partly a sigh of relief (because we have really worked hard to make this an interesting, inspiring place to visit).

And partly a sigh of sadness and tenderness. I have loved Bloom so much. I have loved the beauty of it (thanks to Emily Yates). I have loved the many guest posts. I have loved the Friday Forums, the giveaways, the photo contests, the home tours, the Christmas decor shares. I have loved the chance to write my feelings about being a mother.

Most of all, I have loved being here with you. You have supported us, shared our words with your friends, sent us tender emails of gratitude, and contributed to fascinating, important discussions. I felt a sense of community here--I have felt so connected to you, and I am really going to miss that.

Why say goodbye?

About a million reasons. Essentially--it's time. I told my husband, Taylor: "When I first became a mom, and felt so lost and out of place, blogs really helped me grow. I read blogs by women who made mothering look fun and beautiful. I started writing on my own blog and it helped me see my life through a new lens. I wanted to make that kind of my life for myself and my family. Bloom has helped me do that. But, whereas blogging used to propel me forward, it is now holding me back. There are so many things I want to do and make and feel with my children, and being tied to the cyber world doesn't make me feel free to do those things."

I feel a great need in my life to settle down, and to slow the pace of our life as much as possible. And to give my boys more quality time and attention. It looks like this: less cupcakes while the boys are neglected; more hiking and swimming as a family. less blogging while the boys run amok; more reading, painting, gardening, and baking bread together.

If you want to keep in touch, feel free to follow my personal blog, Anne with an 'e.' I will try to update it at least once a week.

I love you, dear friends. Thank you so much for being here and loving us.

xoxo,
anne


Well, goodness sakes. I'm no stranger to writer's block, but tonight it feels especially thick. Part of me feels like I owe some sort of explanation for this goodbye and part of me feels like I have nothing to explain. The short of it is that my real life, the one with a pulse (4 actually) and noise and laughter and conversation and mess - it needs the part of me that I have been giving to Bloom for the past 2 years.

The other day Lily and I were deadheading flowers in the garden. "Why are we cutting the flowers off, mom?" she asked with concern stamped on her forehead. "'Cause flowers die. And the plant needs to use its energy to grow new flowers instead of trying to nurture the dead ones." She seemed satisfied with that answer and she was quiet for a few moments and then said, "So flowers just bloom and die, bloom and die?" "Yep," I answered, "that's what they do."

I see the same cycle in my own life - ideas and trends that bloom and are beautiful for a time. I learn and grow through them and love them for a season. And then they wilt and wither and whatever little energy they required seems too much.

That's how Bloom has come to feel (our blog is so aptly named for this metaphor, isn't it?!) There are new blossoms to nurture. Banjo lessons, perhaps?
And since moving to Oregon I feel like we are living the life we imagined (or making a mighty effort thereunto). There is much of hiking, and berry picking, and baking, and gathering with family and friends, and swimming and gardening and watching the sun set. And the more deeply I embed myself in the beauties of real life, the more the flashing pixels of the internets dim and dull. And the only thing I really care to do at my computer is upload the pictures and catch up on my little personal blog to preserve the indescribable goodness of this chapter of life. And lest you think otherwise, let me assure you that yes, there are hard things, too. Loved ones who are very afflicted. Personal disappointments that feel like they might swallow me up some days. Chores aplenty in a house that is never as clean as I'd like it to be and a yard that is similarly average. And these things need tending to also.

{disclaimer: i think blogging is great and helpful and awesome. i'm not throwing it under the bus or swearing it off by any means. i'm just feeling like it needs to take a different shape and place in my life.}

Bloom and die, bloom and die. A season for every purpose. Everything in its time.

Thanks for being here and listening to our thoughts and commenting on our forums and making this a safe and loving place to share our hearts (and our parties and our projects and our favorite songs).

Much love,
Em