Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Summer's Gifts


Part One:
I feel like the last 2 months have been a time of enlightenment for me. The same woman who was feeling like the victim of illness and angry with her child all the time now feels peace and love and patience. Allowing my heart to be contrite and open to a paradigm shift about both my health and Blaine has brought forth an abundance of blessings.

Lately I feel like instead of being stressed about my to-do list, or the messes my children are making, I am just enjoying motherhood.

Some examples:

Instead of being mad that Blaine dumped out a whole basket of folded laundry, I felt proud of him that he took the initiative to get himself dressed. Instead of being frustrated that I had to ask my boys 6 times to fill up the laundry basket with toys and take it upstairs, I smiled as I watched them finally fill it up and carry it up together, singing, "Teamwork! Teamwork! Teamwork!" My heart felt light as I made the boys lunch while they marched around the house with flutes and maracas (a parade).

The ability to enjoy them in such a way is a tremendous change and blessing. Not to mention that my health is on a steady incline. And, as if those weren't blessings enough, suddenly I'm pregnant.

Part Two:
I wrote that on July 9th. I had yet to begin the barfiness and I-cannot-possibly-get-up-this-morning-fatigue of the first trimester. It was a peaceful time of relative ease. Then I spent most of July and August trying just to keep up, and failing. My furniture collected dust, my petunias got eaten by nasty caterpillars while I did nothing to stop it, and my toilets looked grosser than any rest-stop's. I struggled to find the balance between 'you are pregnant, give yourself a break' and 'stop being such a pansy and get up and go to work!' My sister-in-law, Melissa, says that when you get ready to have a new baby, you go into debt. In other words, you sacrifice certain things when you conceive, gestate, and then care for a newborn. And I'm finally learning what things to sacrifice and what just needs to happen, no matter how yucky I feel. Like clean toilets, those need to happen. Because that's just gross. But instead of giving handmade gifts this summer, I gave store-bought gifts. Instead of canning peaches and making blackberry jam like last summer, I sat at the pool with my boys every day. I'm finally learning to accept limitations and feel at peace with each phase of life. We'll be buying canned peaches this winter, and I'm OK with that.


--anne

19 comments:

Rachael said...

Congratulations, Anne! What wonderful news, and a beautiful reminder to enjoy where we are now.

Alicia said...

Um, how did I miss that you were pregnant? Yay! I know you've wanted that for so long. Crossing my fingers for a girl! Love you!

Sarah said...

Congratulations Anne. Your mom must be thrilled with all the baby bounty going on up there!!

Christina said...

Congrats!

Honey said...

Congratulations Anne! How wonderful!

Steph said...

Congratulations!

Katie said...

Yeah Anne! I am thinking pink for you!!

Melissa said...

It has been over eight years since the last time I was pregnant and in the newborn phase. I can't remember what I didn't get done (and I know there was a lot), but I remember the cuddles and how my babies felt when they snuggled on my chest as I rocked them. This tells me that we won't remember the stuff that didn't get done, but we will remember the emotions we experience, the "moments". When you are out of this season of your life, you will be so much happier for remembering what this little being feels like growing inside of you (you can block out the sick part) and all the sweet moments of those first weeks, instead of guilt or disappointment for all the tasks you didn't do. It sounds like you have made great strides these past months. Your kids won't remember the dirty toilets, but they'll remember that you loved them. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations on all levels.

toddnjoelle said...

I could tell last time I saw you. Take it easy and I'll come over and help you. My baby is 1 this week and I am just feeling like myself again.

jeanine said...

Congrats Anne! This post was a great reminder too. I love the idea of being in debt when you are pregnant.

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Congratulations! What a beautiful post.

Sally said...

My toilet has been that gross all month and I don't have a pregnancy excuse. Congrats!

Sara said...

Congrats! Mom said she talked with you the other day about non-sleeping children. Wish we were in Oregon still/again...I'd love to see you and meet your boys!
Sara (Schwanke)

Amy Jean said...

Congrats!
My worst pregnancy day was when I met you--I was gross and traumatized (thought I was having a miscarriage) and you were gorgeous and put together. So when you're having a bad day--just remember that gross is all relative, and skip cleaning your toliets.

brittani c. said...

Great reminder that there is a time and season for all things...we women can be so tough on ourselves.
Congrats on #3! I love being pregnant during the winter. :)

Abbie said...

Congratulations! Are you going to name the baby Bloom? You should.

Great post, btw.

Mickie and Matt said...

Congrats Anne! I too am trying to find that line between, give your self a break and stop being a pansy and do it! Laundry gets put on my back burner... simply because I hate all my clothes that used to fit nicely now they fit snug but I am not at the point of wearing preg. clothes. :) Hope you are feeling great now and I'll think pink for you :)

Jessica said...

I know what you mean Anne! I have the same problem with every pregnancy, and when I'm through being pregnant and the awful throwing-up-all-the-time phase, I always tell myself that next time I will be more productive and exercise more and do more, that I was just being weak . . . until I am experiencing it all again! Hope you get more energy and feel better! It was nice to visit at my brother's reception.

The Parkers said...

Congratulations, Anne! That is such exciting news. And thank you for such a wonderful post. This whole 'series' of posts from you on parenting and changing your perspective have been so inspirational to me. I too have been struggling with these very issues (spirited child and not getting pregnant) and have been in a rut with my mind set. Your words really have inspired me and I am now adopting a whole new approach to my life and my parenting. So thank you so much and congrats again!