Friday Forum: Alternative Schooling Options (Part Two--Home School)

The past few weeks at Bloom, we've been discussing education options for our children. (See here and here to catch up.)

At Bloom, we don't take any specific stance on this issue, but we feel it vitally important for parents to glean all the information they can on all of their options, and choose what's best for each child.

Today we have the privilege of hearing from our friend, Wendy--a mother of six home-schooled children. There are a few reasons we sought her opinions for our Bloom readers.
1. She has a lot of experience on this topic--about 11 years worth, in fact.
2. She is very enthusiastic about home school, but she keeps it real and tells it like it is.
3. Her children (ranging in age from seven to nineteen) are outstanding. Smart, confident, capable, fun, and exceptionally socially adept.

Welcome, Wendy. Thank you so much for being here!

Reading with Tanner, Madi & Janelle. This really sums up what the sweet moments feel like.

Bloom: How did you decide that home school was right for your family?

Wendy: When my children were beginning elementary school I began to investigate options for middle school. (Stories of happenings at the middle school (drug use, bullies, immodesty, lack of morals) can be fairly frightening when your kiddos are such little cherubs!)

As I studied more about home schooling, I was intrigued by the benefits of home schooling. Most of the books I studied concluded that:
1) Home schooled children tend to accept their parent’s belief system because they value their parents more than their peers.
2) Home schooling families are tightly bonded because of all the experiences they have shared.
3) Home schooled children have the advantage of one on one tutoring, and the flexibility to explore topics more deeply.
4) Home schooled children are able to fluidly socialize with younger children and older children or adults. They are not of the mindset that they can only “hang with kids their own age.”
5) The entire family takes on a “love of learning.” The atmosphere of the family becomes such that education is a priority and a treasure.

I was captivated by these benefits and wanted each of them in my own family.

Simultaneously, one of my elementary school kiddos was struggling…academically (was easily distracted and would rather have been playing legos)… and socially (was a complete follower of the gutter behavior happening around him.) I had dreams of this child growing up to be a strong, moral, well educated MAN and I couldn’t bear to stand by and watch him erode. I knew I could make a difference in his life, so the “mamma bear” in me rose up and we began our home schooling journey. I now have 11 years of home schooling under my belt, and it will be a total of 16 years when this experiment is over.

During that time we have added 2 new babies to our family and moved 4 times. Throughout each of these major events, I was amazed at how smoothly the transition happened. There might have been a week where the school kids only did a math lesson & practiced reading, but we made up their other lessons in the following weeks and they have not been hurt in the least.

Bloom: What are good reasons for home schooling vs. not so good ones?

Wendy: If you choose to Home school, understand that there will be dark, frustrating times everyday. There will also be joys and deeply satisfying moments everyday. (Sounds like parenting, right?)

Home schooling requires 100% commitment and a sacrifice of hobbies, crafts, answering the telephone during the day, and often friend time (especially if you have “Mom friends” who call you daily or meet up with you for play dates and hours of chatting.) To do it right, you must be willing to give up these things in order to focus on the education of your kiddos. If you are unable to commit at this level, or you have a part-time job or other matters that demand your attention, then don’t even consider home schooling. It might push you over the edge.
(Editor's note--keep in mind that this is the perspective of a mother of six!)

Finally, a wise home schooler once said to me, “Before you decide to home school, you’d better pray about it and make certain God is behind your decision. Then, when the difficult times come (and they will come) you will be able to lean on the knowledge that God is behind your decision.”

Bloom: What do you do with younger children during school time?

Wendy: Newborns are the easiest because they just lie in your arms. It is the 18 month to 3 years olds that will drive you crazy! They are at a high maintenance age, throwing tantrums, then climbing on the table to mimic the older kids and scribbling in the math books, etc. (When this happened, we would write the child’s name and age next to the scribbles. Several years later that same child will be working in the math book and come to a page with their childhood scribbles! It is quite sweet now.)

For several years, I assigned the four older kiddos to each teach a 30 minute preschool lesson twice a week to their younger sisters. The little girls loved the attention and the older kids loved the teaching. I have also had older siblings read aloud to younger kids or teach simple subjects like handwriting, phonics or spelling. This worked well when my time was in high demand with other kids.

Bloom: How did you choose a curriculum?

Wendy: There are so many curriculums that you could change every year and never run out! Resources for homeschoolers are incredibly abundant.

Understand that there are two extreme views of homeschooling:
1. You must bring the public school to your kitchen table, providing your child with 6 textbooks and 6 workbooks…one for each subject.
2. The “unschooling” method, where curriculum is guided by the child’s interest.

I chose an approach right in the middle which focuses on unit studies. These are units with lots of ‘hands on’ learning and are well suited to all of us, (especially pencil-resistant kids who would rather be playing legos.)

This hands-on activity turned into a first aid lesson!

My unit studies are on a 4 year rotation. For instance, in science our rotation is as follows:

1. Geology/Astronomy (1/2 a year each)
2. Chemistry
3. Biology (1/2 year about the human body systems, ½ year about the plant & animal kingdoms)
4. Physics (properties of light, color, electricity, magnets, batteries, laws of motion, etc.)

The child who is a 1st grader when we studied Geology, will have it again in 5th grade. Each subject will be taught twice by the time they have finished 8th grade.

Our history book is called The Story of the World; History for the Classical Child by Susan Wise Bauer. Over 4 years it covers history from the beginning of time to the present. (I love this book!) I supplement the stories with additional books/videos from the public library and hands on activities.

Aunt Stacy teaching about Egypt

Bloom: How do you manage teaching kids of various ages/grade levels at the same time?

Wendy: My kids each have their own math, reading, writing, spelling and music levels. They do these assignments first thing in the morning and independent from one another. But our afternoons are spent together learning the same things. This has always been our favorite part of the day! We are learning together, as one family, and making memories as we bring our learning to life.

Bloom: What curriculum do you use? How do you have time to plan?

Wendy: My best training came from the KONOS curriculum. This is a unit study approach which incorporates history, science, social studies, geography, and more. KONOS is easy to use and it taught me how to bring our learning to life! After 4 years I have am now following the previously described History/Science rotation, but I use everything KONOS taught me to create my own lessons. (Through KONOS, I taught these subjects already. It is very easy to apply the activities to my new outlines.)

writing the Declaration of Independence with quill feathers

Making root beer in honor of Samuel Adams, whose father wanted him to be a brewer. (Had he become a brewer, the colonists probably wouldn’t have been stirred to action in Declaring Independence.)

KONOS is well suited to teaching children of different ages. For example, when studying the senses, we learn how the eye works. We dissect a cow’s eyeball (very cool experience). We also compare the human eye to a camera. Younger children are required to tell you how the two compare, while older children would be assigned to write a comparison/contrast paper. Do you see how the family is learning the same things, yet each child is being challenged at their own level? It is beautiful.

Dissecting frogs!

Bloom: What about 'you' time? When do you fit that in?

Wendy: My alone time tends to be shopping at the grocery store or Walmart….and usually happens between 9:30 and 11:30pm.

But my days have a deeper satisfaction that comes from sharing sweet, magical learning moments with my children. And my mind is being stimulated all the time…I have literally learned more because of home schooling than I ever learned growing up.

Bloom: How do you get your kids to treat you like a teacher instead of 'just Mom?'

This has never been a problem. The Mom in this house just happens to be a teacher, as well as a cook, nurse, maid, laundress, etc.

…Well, I must admit that in our house you can also be punished for what I call “lazy learning.” This means if your attitude stinks, you have earned the privilege of cleaning the bathroom. Something magical happens then…the child works through their grumpiness and Mom’s nerves are also calmed as she begins to smell Lysol wafting through the house.

Bloom: What do you think about co-ops?

Wendy: Co-ops can be a fantastic enrichment to your homeschool. I treat them like “icing on the cupcake,” preferring to meet only once a week. This adds excitement to our normal schedule, but allows me to have 4 solid days of regular, core teaching.

A co-op lesson: Eating Greek foods while reclining on soft cushions, & learning Greek root words.

But even without a formal co-op group, don’t be afraid to create your own gathering. While learning about the revolutionary war we called EVERY boy we knew to help us re-enact the Battle at Bunker Hill. They came wearing red sweatshirts and we put white wigs on them. My kiddos taught their friends what happened at Bunker Hill, then we role-played it. We even had a drummer boy! It was terrific fun!

Red Coats storming Bunker Hill, and the patriots defending their position.

Bloom: Do your kids feel isolated or different? Do they ever wish they could go to school?

Wendy: There are certainly times when the “grass looks greener” and my children say they wish they were in public school. But those times are usually when they hear about a skiing field trip, a costume parade/class party, or some fun assembly their friends are talking about.

However, when we are making Sedimentary Pudding Desserts (complete with gummy worm fossils), or when we are taking advantage of a suddenly spring-like day with a bike ride and picnic, I usually say, “How does home school feel today?”

Bloom: A lot of people think all home school kids are weird. How have you helped your kids function so well socially, without sending them to school?

Wendy: I believe a child’s social skills are a reflection of their parents. If parents are shy and terrified to meet new people, their children tend to exhibit those same qualities. On the other hand, if parents model meeting strangers, striking up conversations with people they don’t know, their children will follow that example.

I have also taught my children to look adults in the eyes when they talk to them, and I praise them for answering questions from adults we meet at the grocery store, as well as being able to show kindness and gentleness to younger children. Home schooled children have been labeled as social misfits, but in reality they are some of the nicest young people around! They can talk with and relate to both adults and children.

In my 11 years, I have yet to see a home schooled child who isn’t the first to approach a new child at a park and ask them to play. Most home schooled kiddos are so secure that they believe everyone in the world is just waiting to be their friend.

In these playground situations, I often tease my children by whispering in their ear… “Don’t you know that you are homeschooled and you’re not supposed to be able to make friends?”

Bloom: Do you feel different from others in your community?

Wendy: I tell my children, “People think we are strange for 3 reasons: we have a large family, we are LDS (Mormons), and we home school. They are going to stare, so just get used to it.”

When people ask me prying, judgmental questions about my homeschooling, I smile and simply reply, “It will be clear in 10-15 years if it was a good idea or not!”

But there are incredible families who are home schooling; families who completely enrich your life! So we may be weird…but we’re not alone!

Madi and Janelle dissecting a wasp nest

Bloom: Do you homeschool through high school?

Wendy: Our homeschooling has evolved into this….our children are homeschooled through 8th grade. At that time they are given an option to attend public high school. However, high school is a “privilege.” If they stay morally strong and academically focused, they may stay there and enjoy the experience. They know if they begin to mess around, they will be yanked out of public school.

So far, this has been terrific. By 8th grade, my kiddos have naturally begun to pull away from “mommy.” They seem to sense there is a bigger world out there and they are ready for a piece of it.

Four of our children have made this leap now, and they have each flourished.

Their experience in high school has also given them a place to practice surviving in a world so different from the values they are being raised with. They are learning to combat foul language, immodesty, cheating, etc. while still under the influence of their parents. I have watched them become stronger people and I have complete confidence in the decisions they will make when they launch off to college.

Bloom: How do you do it all? Cooking, cleaning, laundry, teaching…

Wendy: “When my load becomes too heavy…I share the work.”

After the 6th baby, (born in September…lousy planning for a school teacher)… my mornings were chaotic. It would take me two hours to make breakfast, nurse & care for the baby, dress the toddler, and try to run a brush though my own hair…all on a disrupted night’s sleep). I quickly made a chart which gave most of those responsibilities to the older 4 kiddos (ages 6-11). Two kids cooked and cleaned up breakfast, one kiddo dressed the toddler, and the other was the “baby lover.” (This was the coveted job, because they just sat on the couch and loved on the newborn after I nursed her.) The jobs rotated every day. Sharing the work load completely eased my burden.

I have applied a similar approach to laundry. I never do laundry by myself. Over the course of a few days, I will run several loads through the wash as I pass by. When we have 4-6 loads of clean laundry built up, I dump it on my bed (knowing that it must be put away in order for me to sleep). I call all the children to my bed and instruct them to “pick out your laundry.” Literally, within 15 minutes, a mountain of laundry is gone.

As you can imagine, with all of us at home (eating, learning, moving & creating), our house can get messy quickly. I have learned that we make bigger messes, but working together, we can clean them up faster. With 4 or 5 able bodies working, we can literally take a house from “trashed” to “respectable” in 15 minutes. We always do a quick clean up at the end of our school day.

I have also learned to let go of a few things:

I have let go of laundry in my children’s drawers being folded (just put it away!).

My husband helped me let go of insisting my kids wear pajamas. (I don’t care what you are wearing…brush your teeth and lie down!) And I now buy canned spaghetti sauce & instant pancake mix rather than making them from scratch. Silly things, but letting them go has eased my world a bit.


Now, if you aren’t turned off of homeschooling by now, I suggest you read The Well-trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer (most libraries have a copy). But WATCH OUT! This book is dangerously inspiring and just might change your life!

Thanks so much, Wendy, for helping us get a concrete understanding of what home school looks and feels like.