Good morning, friends! It's good to be back here after our little blog break. Anne and I are still catching up on life and laundry. We have stories to tell you and thoughts to share, but today Ms. Abbie is going to do the talking. She's sharing something important and thought-provoking in her spunky, delightful, genuine way.
We'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, too...
We'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, too...
“Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have [love] for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out.”
This is what I’ve had on my mind. It’s ridiculous how often I’m tempted to judge someone before I have all the facts. Do you struggle with this too? I have a sneaking suspicion that some of you might because I’ve been chatting with some friends and we’ve found that it’s something a lot of us are working to overcome.
Lately I’ve been trying to turn off the auto-judge in my brain because HELLO! we're all in this together! We’re all women trying to do our best. We all know our personal weaknesses and we don’t feel like being judged for those times when we do things differently or fall short or completely biff it. Then why do we judge others?
So, Bloomers, I’m asking: How can we stop judging and criticizing each other? And can we start our own mini No Judgment revolution? Can we all try to be a bit nicer to each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt? We’re all different, but aren’t we all kind of the same? I mean, we're sharing the same human experience. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a bunch of people cheering us on as we cheer them on?
I think Mother Theresa was right, “When you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
Let’s just love. Yes? YES!
Just a thought… :)
p.s. quotes coming from this talk.
p.p.s. raise your hand if you're in love with hydrangeas!
13 comments:
Amen!
ps-Hydrangeas were my wedding flower :) LOVE them!
The funny thing about humans and perfection is that we all understand it differently. So maybe if we did accept everyone as perfect in their own way in their own moments right now, that might get rid of some judgments too. The love we feel for others is an acceptance of where everyone is in their lives. Some have grown and understand more than us and others have yet to understand certain things that we do. And that's okay. Great message. Thanks for sharing.
WOW! Just yesterday I was talking to my husband about this. I have recently been working on not saying out loud most of the judgments that pop into my head, now if only I could control my thoughts enough to not even think it that would be ideal. I've noticed this trend taking over the mommy world and I am TOTALLY with you on the no-judging band wagon. I don't want people judging me so why judge them!
My question is, how do we help OTHERS in a VERY KIND way to not share their judgmental feelings out loud with you? I have not yet found a good way to do this...
This is something I am constantly reminding myself to be careful about.
Talking to the women around me I find we have already created judgments against ourselves - i.e. "I should be able to handle this so everyone else thinks I am a flake." Then we are too intimidated to reach out and ask for help or even lift each other with support. Recently my goal is to reach out in ways that will hopefully abolish those crazy ideas we place on ourselves to create sisterhood among us. By doing this I can try to belittle the judge in myself and create better relationships and support systems around me as well.
This, in my opinion, is one of the most important things we are going to have to learn on this journey. I cannot stand judgement. When I was younger, I judged others. It's human nature. But life experience has taught me that we never know, or is it our right to know, what is in someone's heart. Nor can we say what someone should or shouldn't have done. Some of the best families I know have wayward children. When I was younger I would have wondered what they did wrong to lose that child. Now I understand that that child had his/her free agency and that old saying rings true, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
We NEED to spend more time in compassion and loving each other or we will never be able to come close to the Christ-like love that we are trying to learn how to have. People who struggle and make bad choices need our love, not our criticism.
I don't know how to help others with this. It begins with us. Maybe it will rub off? If a judgmental comment is met with silence, maybe that would be impactful. I don't know the answer to this question.
I'm not kidding meditation is the key.
I've studied a lot about meditation, mostly Buddhist meditation, but other forms as well and this year I took a meditation class. I don't practice strict Buddhist meditation, I practice my own Christian version but the principles are the same - relax, turn off your mind, focus on your body right here and right now and listen for inspiration. Buddhists believe the same as most Christians that we are all the same (we all have problems and triumphs in our lives) and therefore we cannot judge one another we must offer love to everyone. It is a very Christian belief but in my opinion Buddhists are better at it and that is because they practice meditation more regularly. Meditation has 100% changed my life and I can't imagine going throughout the rest of my life with out it. I've written a lot about meditation on my journal blog "Changing Amy" if anyone wants more information on it.
The key to peace, love and happiness is obtained through meditation (combined with sincere prayer and scripture study). I promise.
Also, my wedding bouquet was all white hydrangeas. LOVE THEM!
I was immediately intrigued by the title of this post because it's something I need to be reminded of as I sometimes feel like I struggle alone while everyone else's life is going perfectly. When we take a moment and really just...breathe...and just be in that moment, we can realize that isn't ourselves that keep everything balanced but rather, an inexplicable Grace that is woven throughout everything we do [or don't get to do]. That Grace is there whether we did the laundry or not, whether we cook dinner or get takeout. The sooner we realize that the Grace we are given isn't going anywhere, the sooner we can let ourselves off the hook. Once we stop judging ourselves, we must certainly extend some of our own grace to others.
Love this post. Definitely something that I've always struggled with. The funny part is that I am wrong every single time I judge someone. Every.Single.Time. You'd think that would make me stop.
I have a quote in my home that says "There isn't anyone you couldn't love, once you've heard their story." That idea has helped me a lot. But, I have a feeling it will be a lifelong pursuit to stop that human instinct to judge.
I am DOWN.
Planted two hydrangeas right outside my front door. They're coming along nicely thanks.
On my mind and heart a lot right now, too. Thanks for sharing this reminder that I seem to need regularly. I'm working on it. Slowly but surely I'm hoping to improve.
I kind of view it like this--everyone is like me, but has been put in different situations or made different decisions. The more I get to know people, the more I realize that we are all so similar. We may have different opinions (believe me--I have different opinions than MANY of my friends), but that's because we're looking at it from a different angle. There are few things I believe are right and wrong, and the rest is opinion.
Having a special needs child has basically rid me of judging other mothers, though. You just don't know. You just don't know that child like they do, you just don't know what they've been through that day, you just don't KNOW. Abuse--bad. Neglect--bad. But I really believe that 99% of us are just trying to do the best we can. I know, KNOW that I am being judged many times as my son tantrums in public, but they simply don't understand, you know? And I think it applies to non-special needs kids, too. Because all kids have their own needs, right?
And I have fake hydrangeas staring at me from above my fireplace. What? I can't keep plants alive! Don't judge. :)
I was just thinking about this issue while at work today. There are so many people that I meet during the day and the first thoughts I have about them are judgments - which too often are misinformed. I really hadn't noticed until today just how much 'control' it has over what I think and believe. Thanks for the encouragement to practise compassion in my everyday thoughts. I'm on board for 'No Judgments' - more lovin' less judgin'.
oh delightful flowers indeed, and they are purple which is my favorite color so I've gotta love this type of flower, what is the name again?? Hydrangeas something?
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