Sunday, July 24, 2011

Perspective

Ahhh, Monday, Monday. Raise your hand if you're sick of the Chicken Dinner post that was up all weekend (+ a day)...sorry 'bout that. We had so much going on last week and through the weekend. Did you know that Anne and I are sort of related? We married cousins (who may as well be siblings), so quite often when one of us has a family gathering, the other is involved -- and such was the case this weekend. We ran from one outing to the next. And Anne baked a zillion cupcakes in between. You should have seen/tasted them -- A-mazing! Anne took lots of great pictures (I took none), so I'll let her tell you about the wedding and recount whatever details she desires, whenever she desires to recount them.



And in the mean time, I will tell you that my baby turned three this weekend. And I love her so bad. We've been hoping for another little one for over a year now. And that hurts sometimes and makes us sad now and then and fills us with questions. But as with so many hard things, there is a silver lining; the longing for another child also makes us focus in on the two that we already have and realize how absolutely precious and miraculous they are. My arms ache to feel the weight of a baby, but my hands are so blessed to touch and serve and care for the two I already have.

Today I snuggled up with Lily and told her about the pocket of time surrounding her birth - how Nana came and how we were soooo excited, and how Henry was just about her size. Nate and I shook our heads at the fact that three whole years have passed -- it's gone by so fast, and yet we can barely remember what life felt like before Lily.

As I watched her show us her age with "olive-fingers," and eat her dinner on the special red plate, and open the darling present her brother put together for her (cutest part: a sandwich baggie full of loose change he'd gathered up around the house), and blow out the candle on her birthday brownie, I thought about the huge part of my heart that beats just for Lily and wondered what it was doing before she joined us.

7 comments:

Natalie said...

Happy Birthday sweet Lily! The other day I was just thinking about when you came up to the hospital to visit me and you were just a couple of weeks from having her. Can't believe it's really been three years. Time flies, and she is darling. Henry's little bag of change is so sweet.

The Parkers said...

This was such a sweet and touching post. I love that you touched on the fact that yearning for a new baby can also prompt us to love the kiddos we have even more. I too have been trying for another one for almost two years and it does bring with it sadness and frustration, but I also feel like I have all this extra time now to just love my four year old without any distractions. What a lucky boy! Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us.

Astyn said...

I am in a similar boat. My twin daughters will be 3 in a few weeks, and we have been hoping for a child for the last year. I echo all of your sentiments...the happiness, the sadness, and the thrill of being a mom to the beautiful children we have been blessed with. Thank you for sharing.

Astyn said...

P.S. Did you read the book excerpt on Infertility in the Wall Street Journal this past weekend? It is the story of a woman who is now in her early 40's and trying furtively to have children. It was an interesting article and made me grateful that I felt the urge to have children at a younger age. Because it seems harder for me to get pregnant the older I am.

Joan said...

Im sitting here in my moms living room reading portions of this post and we are all revelling in the beautiful way you write.
Its one of your many, many gifts Em :)

Heather said...

Happy Birthday to your cute little one, she is such a doll! I am so sorry you are having to go through this right now. I have been there, and it is SO hard. So, so hard. I will keep you in my prayers, and I hope so much for some great news in the near future for you :)

Mathilde said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Lily!! Wow 3 years.. Seems like yesterday. BIG HUG