Wednesday, January 12, 2011

We follow a little calendar at Bloom; it's our attempt at organization and looking ahead. Today I am slated to post something about "creative wall art." But I haven't taken the pictures. And I don't want to talk about wall art. I want to talk about home. I hope Anne won't be too mad at me (wink!)

I've had a few occasions recently to feel humble. To realize that the way I think of myself is not necessarily the way I am perceived by others. To feel vulnerable and misunderstood; to question some things I thought I had figured out.

I feel equal parts dislike and gratitude for these experiences. It's good to shed the vanity, the pride, and disillusionment. It's good to reevaluate. But humility, though sweet in the end, is a lemon on the way down. And introspection, so likely to yield peace, often brings thunder in the interim.

Captain America and his little sister enjoy a story from their dad

So in the midst of the swirling periphery, I have been exceptionally grateful for home. For me, it is true north. I get my bearings here. It is the place I understand, and feel understood, best of all. I live with a 5 year old boy who likes to dress up like heroes and talk about powers - the super and secret kinds. (I love that imaginary chatter). I've been thinking recently how home is the place where certain gifts, like secret powers, are really brought to light - where I can discern needs and calm fears and dispense love and give courage with more power than I have anywhere else.

Been feeling extra tender about that lately. And grateful that what I get from life "in here" helps me confront things "out there."

9 comments:

Kerry said...

Thank goodness you broke away from the calendar today for this is just what I needed to hear and, I can tell, what you needed to share. Lovely!

Kimberly said...

I feel inspired-both to make my home a little haven like yours, and to have a calendar for my blog-maybe then I'd blog more often and the content would be improved.

Thanks!

lori said...

Glad you wrote from your heart today, friend. It was beautiful.

Lindsay said...

I think I'll print out what you said and hang it as wall art, just to remind me. Love you Em!

Melissa said...

Wall art is not quite as profoud. I appreciate your post and have been thinking a lot about home recently. They know the good, the bad and the ugly about me here, but I keep getting chances to grow and improve, and I like that. In a recent blog post I listed a bunch of job titles that I now have experience in. It was a fun list, but the very last thing I wrote was about whether "superhero" could be on my resume. Not that I think that much of myself; it was more about motherhood in general. This whole growing/experience thing is all at once difficult, soul-stretching and in the end, wonderful.

Abbie said...

"But humility, though sweet in the end, is a lemon on the way down."

Bah!! AMEN!!!!

I recently had a *rockin awesome* humbling experience and could not pull myself away from one of my favorite talks:

http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=8501

Whenever I felt the tears welling up, I would whisper to myself, "Ab, Cast not away therefore your confidence. You can do this."

You are loved, Lady! Thanks for this.

Abbie said...

PS home is where we learn confidence, right? one reason I love that talk so much. And love home so much. Yes. The end.

Bloom said...

Em,

You are good at making your home a haven. I always feel happy when I'm there and want my home to feel the same.

Trying not to be mad, ;)
anne

mama said...

beautifully spoken. i feel the same way. so much so that i try to just stay inside these walls; perhaps a little too much.