Family Night with Lori Truman

I met Lori Truman nearly 5 years ago. We worked together. Our children played together. We became fast friends. I could write volumes about the things I've learned from Lori. I love her smile and her 'glass-half-full' outlook. I love her gentle voice and creative parenting ideas. Really, here's the best way to sum it up: Lori makes me want to be a better person.

We hope to hear often from Lori here at Bloom. Today she shares with us how she implements a weekly Family Night with her darling family of four. (While Lori happens to be a member of our faith--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--we hope you can incorporate her ideas and routines into family bonding time of your own, regardless of orthodoxy.)

(Lori also blogs at Pursuits of Happiness.)

--Anne

“Establish and maintain your family hours always. Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and worship together." -David O. McKay, 1968

Like many families I know, we cherish a little weekly togetherness tradition: a specifically set apart time to touch bases, teach, and share talents, a time to laugh and learn, work and serve. It’s a time delightfully rich in family identity and we believe it to be important, vital even, for our family unity and for our children’s development.

A few weeks ago we spent our thus described Family Night together in a place we love. Our two children, bathed in warm evening light, were tumbling together on the grass. After several minutes of happy play, my husband Wes called for the little ones to come close for a lesson. Because we believe in intentional teaching. I opened my mouth to start our short lesson just as Lucy, our four year old, leaned back and rolled down the slope we were sitting on, giggling rambunctiously all the way. *Sigh*

“Honey, come on!” Wes called to Lucy, “time for Mom’s lesson! We’ll have fun af…” Wes’s eyes caught mine as we both realized what he was about to say. We laughed and laughed and laughed.

Lucy did come dutifully back for my lesson. But I can’t forget the Freudian slip. “We’ll have fun after!” has motivated a good deal of thought about what our family nights are and what they could/should be.

Good thing September is pretty much the new January when it comes to goal setting, eh? Wes and I spent last Sunday night seated around our kitchen table, calendar at the ready, “back to the basics” on our minds. I’ll give you the outcomes of our conversation in the hopes that you’ll likewise share what has been successful for your families! We talked about two things, mainly:

Routine is relieving. It would be hypocrisy to the enth degree for me to spout about successful family nights without admitting that we occasionally drop the ball. But we drop the ball less often after learning one helpful trick: Plan for when you have no plan. Have something to do when you don’t have anything to do. Drop the ball without dropping the ball. You follow? Sneaky, I know. And “relieving” really is the right word. I feel such a lack of guilt/stress knowing that if our Monday night plans fall through (or if we’re too busy/lazy to make plans in the first place), our tradition of togetherness and teaching remains intact. At our house the “no-plan” plan goes something like this: sing and pray, tell one scripture story, clip a corresponding picture to a clipboard on the wall, and then dance the hokey pokey (a long standing Truman family tradition). It has become a no brainer and it works great for us.

2. Categories can be a helpful way to plan “curriculum.” We decided that planning is easiest and most effective when we plan a month at a time according to a few topics that we value very much. Our fall categories (does this sound like Jeopardy yet?) for example:

Service (We have a friend who said this is what his family did the majority of his Monday nights growing up. And I tell you what, he is one of the NEATEST guys we know.)

Spirituality/Gospel principles

Provident Living (Sounds funny, I know. We use it for things like chore relay races and trying new recipes. When our kids are a little older we want to teach skills like money management, nutrition, time management, etc, etc, so forth.)

Play! (There have to be times without a “we’ll have fun after!” agenda, right? =)

You’ll note that if (when!) this nice-sounding, proactive planning occasionally falls apart, we’ll always have the Gospel Picture Kit and Hokey Pokey to fall back on!

These are our very unoriginal and very versatile Family Night basics. And since there are a million and five Monday nights in a lifetime, we’re always looking for new ideas!What makes family time successful at your house? What are your favorite teaching traditions? How do you keep your kids involved and attentive (as opposed to waiting for the fun to start after???)