tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post521265013891040206..comments2024-03-18T05:35:02.773-07:00Comments on Bloom: Enjoying Motherhood by Bloom Guest DanielleBloomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15483990252015813307noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-45183579142612462002010-02-22T21:47:05.918-08:002010-02-22T21:47:05.918-08:00So inspirational! I'm finding that saying &qu...So inspirational! I'm finding that saying "no" really does help calm me and keep me focused on my kids and not my to-do list. Thanks for sharing your love for your "job" and reminding me of why what I'm doing is so very important.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00717004905179035733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-44641763589133321182010-02-19T18:31:33.956-08:002010-02-19T18:31:33.956-08:00That was me above!That was me above!lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04560924627020614269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-59425138260748187612010-02-19T18:30:08.442-08:002010-02-19T18:30:08.442-08:00Oh, I missed all the fun! =)
Danielle, I'm on...Oh, I missed all the fun! =)<br /><br />Danielle, I'm on board late, but I still wanted to say: you were the perfect person to write this post! "Mindful mothering," is a great phrase to describe you and your ability to soak in the "magical little details" of Avery. I have long loved that about you via your blog. <br /><br />I loved all the points you made - especially about saying no and about listening to our inner mother voices. I think that can be akin to listening to the Spirit. Sometimes I look so much to outside advice - or I try to solve tricky partenting problems too cerebrally - and I forget to turn inward and trust what I FEEL is right - what the Spirit whispers is right.<br /><br />So thanks, dear! I'm so glad to count you as a friend (and I feel honored by your kind words in the post!).weshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16523240749583192190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-78437054531237156162010-02-17T20:30:45.901-08:002010-02-17T20:30:45.901-08:00oh this was so wonderful. Thank you for posting th...oh this was so wonderful. Thank you for posting these thoughts!Portershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06458335189100136764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-33758722573911394132010-02-16T08:13:36.816-08:002010-02-16T08:13:36.816-08:00I agree with Jonesy--while Anonymous may not have ...I agree with Jonesy--while Anonymous may not have couched his/her comments in the kindliest of ways, the simple truth is that you just don't have the same kind of time with subsequent children as you do with the first. And the needs of older children are much different and more demanding. My third child isn't getting as much attention as my first; it's not that I love him less--and let's be honest, I'm much better at mothering the third time around--it's simply that there are three children who all need my attention and love and care, and all the accompanying work that comes along with those three children. I want to have lots of quality time with my kids every day, but I also want them to wear clean clothes and eat healthy meals--and that takes time. And to be perfectly frank, I don't want my kids with me every second--it's not healthy for any of us. <br /><br />But I still love Danielle's mindful mothering. And I think she readily acknowledges the point that her parenting style may change with the addition of more children.Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17296225105026623275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-866604800846170942010-02-16T07:10:56.662-08:002010-02-16T07:10:56.662-08:00I'm sad that so many of you think that Anon wa...I'm sad that so many of you think that Anon was out of line--even referring to her as a "troll." Come on. Really? All she did was voice her opinion, just as everyone else has done. She even praised Danielle saying that "I don't disagree with anything she said" and "this is all true and relevant." I understand her point that it is a little hard to put stock into advice from one who has not yet "finished the race." Having more than one child, and having older children definitely changes things up, adding a complexity otherwise unknown. <br />That being said, I think Danielle writes with a refreshing and somewhat idyllic view of mothering her little one. I wish I had been that kind of fully present and attentive mother from the beginning. I appreciate your attempts to help us all in our mothering challenges, Danielle, even though those challenges may be at different stages for all of us.<br />Just remember that not everyone is so eloquent at expressing our opinions. I'm sure Anon meant no real offense.Jonesyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12524291508991901570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-69339756341652655022010-02-15T23:20:43.303-08:002010-02-15T23:20:43.303-08:00Wow, anonymous...ouch. Not nice. I have 4 kids a...Wow, anonymous...ouch. Not nice. I have 4 kids ages 5,4,2, and 10 months, and I still found Danielle's post insightful and uplifting. While I agree that it is easier to enjoy being a mother every second with only 1 child, that doesn't make what Danielle said any less important. It is terribly hard to listen to (and enjoy) your 5 year old tell you about her school projects, while your two toddler boys fight over a toy, and your baby is screaming on the floor because he wants to be held. BUT I wholeheartedly believe that it CAN and SHOULD be enjoyed. I don't think she was trying to make anyone feel bad about parenting, or say that she is a better mother than anyone else. We've all had our share of moments we are probably not proud of. But what she is saying is so real...the world is very busy, and there are SO many distractions that drive us away from those special moments with our children that we can never get back. <br /><br />Danielle, I think you are an excellent mother, and I will say that it does get a lot harder as you add more children to the family, but you are off to an AMAZING start. You inspire me. Come hang out with us sometime...we love lazy summer days spent in the backyard with sprinklers, popsicles, and laughter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-87214954755248036312010-02-15T21:37:31.555-08:002010-02-15T21:37:31.555-08:00This is a beautifully written post that I was happ...This is a beautifully written post that I was happy to read today. I loved your thoughts on picturing the grown up version of your daughter, and holding yourself accountable for how you treat her now in that way. I agree with everything you said and many of the thoughts you shared I have considered to be unique to my own thought processes=) It is always refreshing to find someone who feels like you do about the important things. Thanks for taking the time to write this! <br /><br />And really, Anonymous, I think that the feelings expressed were applicable to all phases of motherhood. I'm sorry you are discouraged with your life as it is now. But I think you would do well to read this again with an open heart, allowing that someone with less experience may have some valuable insight to share.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12768195400316361623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-38692189431909306722010-02-15T21:33:41.213-08:002010-02-15T21:33:41.213-08:00I LOVE this! Pretty much everything about it, I to...I LOVE this! Pretty much everything about it, I too feel that my children are entrusted to me, though I feel that they're also mine. Given to me as a gift and a blessing, eternally! This post is beautifully said, and it makes me so happy to read about someone who I feel has the same thoughts and feelings that I am trying to achieve. A kindred spirit you could say :)<br /><br /> I loved every bit of this. Whether you have 1 child or 7, this post is for everyone. There is no ranking because of how many. I think it can only help bring what matters most to light. Enjoying this beautiful, messy thing called Motherhood that bonds us together and helps us stretch and grow, and learn from each other. Bloom, thank you for this guest poster! Can't wait to hear more from her, and others. <br /><br />Pay the blog trolls no mind, they breed negativity and insecurity, both of which there is no need for here. ;)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15307785864255054625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-57010964143918471232010-02-15T21:02:11.850-08:002010-02-15T21:02:11.850-08:00good job sister! i hope i can be just like you whe...good job sister! i hope i can be just like you when i have a baby.vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00106678620635657687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-45397978203349728822010-02-15T19:21:57.240-08:002010-02-15T19:21:57.240-08:00I love that you still nurse your baby. I nursed bo...I love that you still nurse your baby. I nursed both of my boys till they were 18 months and most people thought I was crazy. <br />Thank you for sharing your heart so openly, Danielle :) You are wise beyond your years as a mother and have lovely mothering virtues to share with all of us.Joanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01492629476225188410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-37633315719948230862010-02-15T17:58:06.760-08:002010-02-15T17:58:06.760-08:00Thank you thank you. This post spoke to me! And ...Thank you thank you. This post spoke to me! And I agree with Amy JEan "A Mother's Book of Secrets" is SO good!jeaninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13732103634683943293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-31092421041849710712010-02-15T15:57:59.398-08:002010-02-15T15:57:59.398-08:00I love this post, thank you!I love this post, thank you!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03969389246865883205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-9222542325075998732010-02-15T13:23:05.780-08:002010-02-15T13:23:05.780-08:00Oh and I was going to add to some of the anonymous...Oh and I was going to add to some of the anonymous comments...To me it seems BLOOM takes one thing, one interest, one subject at a time. So maybe BLOOM will have another guest post who is totally different than Danielle and has other insights. I don't think we should expect EVERYTHING from just one guest post. Take the positive things you can from each post and run with it :)Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05244270576403119862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-14519721664784324802010-02-15T13:16:23.854-08:002010-02-15T13:16:23.854-08:00what a wonderful refreshing post! Isn't it ama...what a wonderful refreshing post! Isn't it amazing the role of a mother. Thank you for touching on very important and positive subjects of motherhood :)Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05244270576403119862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-36484006373934882282010-02-15T12:42:00.084-08:002010-02-15T12:42:00.084-08:00Wow, I never would have thought that lovely post w...Wow, I never would have thought that lovely post would stir up controversy. <br /><br />Danielle, I love what you wrote and much of it are things I've thought a lot about too. <br /><br />I'd also like to add that although the experiences talked about here are those of a mother with one toddler, the principles she outlines can apply to mothers with children of all ages.Katrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16281368864448367942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-81502935876337744392010-02-15T12:08:58.967-08:002010-02-15T12:08:58.967-08:00Danielle, I love what you wrote. I've always t...Danielle, I love what you wrote. I've always thought you were such a wonderful mother. I'm always striving to enjoy my kids like you enjoy Avery. You do such a good job at doing that. This came at a great time for me, with Charlie asserting his independence more and more, and me feeling pulled and wondering how to be the best mom to both kids in their very different stages of life. Patience is something I pray for daily along with the inspiration to be the mother my kids need. I feel strongly like you that my children were entrusted to me and that they don't belong to me. Maybe it's that much more pronounced since they were literally placed in my arms given from one loving mom to this loving mom. I was entrusted with their care from their birth mother's and the same is true from our Father in Heaven. Did that make any sense? Basically I loved reading this and it has made me an even more loving mom today. So thanks!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10153305513650542178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-69448684596969064652010-02-15T11:30:41.691-08:002010-02-15T11:30:41.691-08:00I have three kids now, but I certainly remember wh...I have three kids now, but I certainly remember what it was like to have one. I appreciate Danielle's insight.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02184215444770939402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-14683432917055827582010-02-15T11:05:19.955-08:002010-02-15T11:05:19.955-08:00Well, Danielle, you certainly stirred up the pot, ...Well, Danielle, you certainly stirred up the pot, didn't you? <br /><br />Personally, I didn't find Anon to be all that bitter (maybe a little snarky, but not necessarily bitter!) I can see her point: it was definitely easier for me to revel in motherhood when I had only one child. We could nap together and I often had lots of time to pursue creative outlets while he played beside me. Now that I have two, things have become much more complicated and confusing and loud! But, I appreciate Danielle's reminder to live life without regrets. So, I'm going to enjoy my time with my young children as much as I can (in spite of the frustrations and lack of sleep and total chaos).Lindy Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03201182895528835178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-18323442710354194572010-02-15T10:57:21.962-08:002010-02-15T10:57:21.962-08:00Danielle! Thank you for the wonderful gift introdu...Danielle! Thank you for the wonderful gift introducing "Asking Jane" to me. I've been reading it with tears in my eyes for a half an hour! She is just the voice I needed to hear as a new mom!Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17983045210766395899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-32413625487361102632010-02-15T10:27:25.959-08:002010-02-15T10:27:25.959-08:00Thank you Danielle. I thought this was beautifully...Thank you Danielle. I thought this was beautifully written and I really feel inspired to try harder to enjoy each moment with my child.Kendall Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05807225786516404868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-14609113876598926682010-02-15T10:19:49.771-08:002010-02-15T10:19:49.771-08:00No motherhood adventure is the same. We're al...No motherhood adventure is the same. We're all at different stages - amount of children, their ages, our job situations which affects our level of involvement with our children, etc.<br />However, we can all find joy in motherhood and I appreciate that you're reminding us of those joys and the moment we're in NOW - today! <br />Thank you for your insight Danielle. <br />And thank you to Bloom for providing a place for mothers alike to share ideas/feelings/thoughts to help better our mother-self, regardless of everything else we have to balance!Camillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03809109574604262862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-11457728101847194652010-02-15T10:09:45.281-08:002010-02-15T10:09:45.281-08:00I frankly don't understand some of the negativ...I frankly don't understand some of the negativity flowing from Anonymous. Why are you so bitter? Is it because you have several children (read: not babies) and are now realizing you failed to enjoy the baby stage of motherhood while you could? This is supposed to a supportive place for women to get inspiration and share with each other. If you don't personally find that here, then you should keep your negative comments to yourself and let others enjoy reading and thinking about what other people have to say. If you are so dissapointed by what Danielle wrote, then I suggest you volunteer to write a comprehensive "motherhood 101" post addressing the issues Danielle did not raise instead of sitting back and throwing insults from behind the shield of an Anonmyous comment. <br /><br />Maybe I missed something, but I have never expected Bloom to be a place providing one size fits all advice. As a matter of fact, I don't consider anything posted to be advice at all. Every post is simply one person's opinion on a particular subject as applied through the context of that particular individuals life experiences. If you don't fit into the framework of that persons life experiences, then obviously you are not the target audience for that day's post. It is asinine to criticize Danielle because her post didn't apply to you or because you don't personally feel she has the same experiences as you as a mother. None of us have the same experiences, and that is exactly the point of Bloom. The fact that Danielle is a woman entitles her to an opinion on the subject of motherhood and the simple fact that she has a baby qualifies her as a expert. <br /><br />Further, nowhere in anything she posted did she claim that being a mother was easy or simple or anything. In fact, if you read the subtleties of her post you will see that she is saying exactly the opposite. Her point, which you obviously missed, was that being a mother is inherently difficult and complex and that in her life it has helped her to unplug and focus on her baby girl and try to enjoy the experience of being a mother instead of worrying about what she may or may not be getting done or accomplishing as a mother. I think that is a message everyone of us, including you, needs to hear and can take to heart.<br /><br />I personally don't feel having a certain amount of children or having a childred of a certain age should be a requirement for being a Bloom contributor. I personally like very much what Danielle has to say and look forward to her posts. Her posts are always genuine and from the heart and give me things to think about, even though they may not always necessarily apply to me (our youngest is 5). However, that doesn't mean what she says is any less credible or any less true. <br /><br />Nikki Sherrill<br />Romeoville, IL<br />Mother of 4, ages 5 to 14 and avid marathoner (so far I have finished 6 races).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-11108961258367986152010-02-15T10:01:25.463-08:002010-02-15T10:01:25.463-08:00Danielle, you have wisdom that many women don'...Danielle, you have wisdom that many women don't find until much later. It doesn't matter whether you have one little one, or five grade school to high school age kids, the things you are sharing are sound words that make total sense to me. I have learned exactly everything you have, and I love being a mother. If there is anything that I can add that I've learned it's that the more inner peace I have with myself, the better I am as a mother and the more strength I have to draw from. If I am unhappy with myself or struggling with something unrelated to my kids, I find myself being short with my kids and my husband. Those are the times that I clam up and take stock. I want to experience the JOY of motherhood in the midst of this crazy world. I don't want to sit around years later in regret. This kind of awareness is one of the greatest gifts and will help you enjoy every moment of the journey. :)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10958091392834699894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3314654863949920054.post-58913794053260022382010-02-15T09:54:44.691-08:002010-02-15T09:54:44.691-08:00A few of my thoughts...
Danielle, I've told y...A few of my thoughts...<br /><br />Danielle, I've told you before that I'm envious of your first baby experience. I was so ill-prepared for the role change of motherhood, that I spent Blaine's first 9 months trying to get comfortable with being a Mom instead of enjoying that precious time with him.<br /><br />I agree with what you said about the outside things being the causes of stress. I often bite off more than I can chew, and then lose my patience when my children are bored with my craft project or are tired of being trucked around on errands. Obviously there are some things that just have to be done to keep a home, etc., (and I think our children have to learn that) but I know I could choose more wisely when it comes to the 'extras.' <br /><br />The discipline vs. love thing is something we talk about a lot. I think, in philosophical terms, I'm completely on board with the 'they really just need love' line of thinking. In practical terms, some of my experience as a teacher of older children is now guiding my parenting. For example, I had many students that knew no boundaries, no rules, no limits, no authority. It made succeeding in school (dare i say, 'the real world?') difficult for them. When Taylor and I discipline around here we try to follow the LDS scripture that talks about following up discipline/reproving with an increase of love (D&C 121:43)and I feel like it works well. I think it's how we help our children understand that sometimes we have to discipline BECAUSE we love them. (Danielle, I hope that doesn't come across poorly. I'm not implying that you don't give Avery boundaries. Nor am I implying that I have this figured out! OH BOY I don't have this figured out! Like I said, it's something we're constantly talking about, trying to figure out. Of course it will differ with each child, and we're learning on quite an independent, willful 3-yr-old...<br /><br />Mostly though, I just want to say that I really enjoyed reading this. Danielle, I think you have done a beautiful job of reveling in your time with just you and Avery. Certainly things will be a bit different as you add more children to your family, but I have the feeling you will figure out the choices you need to make to continue enjoying motherhood, even with more schedules, demands, sticky hands, etc.!<br /><br />love<br />anneBloomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15483990252015813307noreply@blogger.com